Jesus Visits Colleges; Plans Epic Flood

Jesus is a busy man. Recently, however, he wanted to take a break from checking Facebook posts to see if they met the required number of “likes” in order to heal sick children, to visit a College, relax and do some partying.

He hadn’t been to a College party since the mid 90’s and wanted to relive some of those wild times.

First stop on the Jesus party tour was Amherst College.

“Holy shit, it’s Jesus!” shouted one of the campus’s dudebros.

“Hey guy’s, where’s the party at tonight?” Jesus asked. “We’ll get a keg, scope out the chicks, you know…”

Overhearing the conversation, a shrill, homely feminist approached Jesus and interrupted: “Excuse me Jesus? Did you just refer to women as ‘chicks?!’

A crowd of feminists formed as they began to interrogate Jesus… he thought to himself ‘Jesus Christ, you picked the wrong college bro‘ and slipped away from the angry mob as they turned their attention to the dudebros who were defending him.

Next stop on the Jesus party tour was Berkeley University.

Jesus spotted a small crowd of peeps that looked like they might’ve been down to party.

“Hey man” Jesus asked, “So where are all the good parties happening tonight?”

The bewildered crowd looked stunned, but not because they were in the presence of Jesus himself.

“Man?” asked one of the students. “Jesus, did you just assume this person’s gender?!”

Jesus sighed and said to himself “God damn, you gotta be kidding me.”

Jesus isn’t likely to return to Berkeley anytime soon, because right after he left Antifa showed up and burned the place down carrying signs that said “Jesus is a Fascist”.

The final stop on the Jesus Party Tour was Yale University.

Jesus was determined to find a good campus party, so he decided to tread carefully as to not run into anymore social justice warriors.

Before he could even talk to anyone, a student approached him and demanded to know why he was wearing white robes and sandals.

“You’re appropriating the culture of Muslims and making a mockery of the Umrah pilgrimage by wearing that!” The student exclaimed.

Jesus quickly got away from him and headed to the other side of the campus.

He noticed a pretty young girl who didn’t have a pink Chelsea haircut or hiking boots on and thought to himself hey, maybe this girl is down to party, eh?

She became visibly angry and hostile and made wild accusations against Jesus.

“Uh, you’ve been looking at me for longer than 3 seconds, stop raping me!”

It was at that point that Jesus knew there would be no party that night. Disappointed and depressed, Jesus headed home, turned on his Rush 2112 album and smoked a joint quietly in his room.

“Son,” God said to Jesus as he came in to check on him. “What’s the matter?”

“We fucked up didn’t we Dad?” Jesus pleaded. “76 Genders, Halloween costumes are offensive, looking at women is rape, everyone and everything is racist….”

“Yes Son, we did”.

“You know what they say” Jesus said with hope as he grabbed a pencil and paper to draft his plans for an apocalyptic flood. “The third time is a charm”.

Social Justice Warriors are Nazis

We all see the “Social Justice” crowd explicitly demanding racial equality, but is that what they really want?

If you read between the lines they’re actually white supremacists trying to subliminally indoctrinate white superiority into the minds of would-be progressives to counteract any true progress being made towards a society that predominately houses non-racist beliefs.

You see, while it may seem like they’re attacking the “white man” and trying to divert or dismantle his alleged power, they’re actually reinforcing a very racist idea that he is superior.

It’s a false dichotomy; a double-think reverse psychology tactic— pretend that the white man is superior, make him the enemy, and therefore he becomes superior by proxy. This is their agenda.

It’s a big conspiracy led by covert National Socialist groups who operate from a secret base stationed on the moon.

Serious business here folks.  We have to stop these fascists.

Idiots Attempt Satirical Anti-SJW Blog; Fail Miserably

idiots-attempt-satiritcal-anti-sjw-blog-fail-miserably

In the grand tradition of so called “anti-social justice warriors” failing at satire and humor, the blog “I Love Social Justice Warriors” is no exception.

The writers of the “I Love Social Justice Warriors” blog are embarrassingly convinced of their ability to intellectually derive humor from cultural and societal extremes, but are in fact failing every day at it.

Lacking the ability to appreciate the severity of social issues and undermining the causes to rectify societal ills, they somehow believe they are being comical; which they are not.

Jokes are not funny.

Humor is merely a way to cloak partiality and indifference, and their attempted ‘punk rock’ satire isn’t fooling anyone; they are bigots.

We’ve reached a point in our human evolution where any attempts to mock or criticize the efforts of social justice advocates are indisputably counter-productive. This is observed through chronological examination of hundreds of years of cultural anthropology.

Attempting to masquerade as free-thinking classical liberals, (rather than the right-wing fascists that they are) they are confessional in their dishonesty; they want to destroy the social justice movement via failed humor.

Anyone who indulges in the ‘I Love Social Justice Warriors’ blogs are merely showcasing their appetite to spread fear, misunderstanding and bigotry.

You absolutely cannot be anything but a racist, misogynistic, homophobic bigot unless you are fully on board with progressive left-wing social justice.

If you are a self-proclaimed “Anti-Social Justice Warrior” you are a bigot and you belong in jail. Social Justice has the government and the law on our side and any attempts to thwart it will be met with swift retaliation.

Again, the writers at “I Love Social Justice Warriors” are pathetic bigots and all of their fans are too.

social-justice-warrior-t-shirt