Ban List – A List of the Most Offensive Things Ever

lets-ban-everything

The world is just far too fragile to be able to live in peace when people have so much freedom, so obviously everything must be banned.

Here is a list of the things that should go first and the reasons why.

  • Guns – they are bad and only bad people have them, ban them now!
  • Alcohol – is bad, and it only leads to more dangerous drugs like marijuana
  • Weed – is bad and only leads to more dangerous things like alcohol
  • White people – white people procreating is a criminal act, ban it
  • Christianity – it threatens the only peaceful religion ever; Islam
  • Islam – It’s patriarchal and oppressive to women and homosexuals
  • Europeans – because they are oppressive to Muslims
  • Straight Men – because they are homophobic
  • Cis Gendered Men – because they are transphobic
  • Toy Guns – Because they are actually real guns too
  • Video Games – they are sexist and only 35 year old white guys play them
  • Marilyn Manson – Offensive to Christians
  • Socks – They are offensive to indigenous people who don’t have them
  • Shoes – only rich white people wear shoes, ban them
  • Casinos – a breeding ground for rich white capitalism
  • Capitalism – because free markets breed rich white people who oppress
  • Christmas – promotes commercialism and gluttony
  • Thin People – they body shame over-weight people just by existing
  • Sports Cars – only rich white people drive sports cars
  • Rock Music – Stolen from Africans and turned into white devil music
  • Rap Music – promotes gun use, rape culture and sexism
  • Condoms – protects rapists from being identifiable
  • Abortions – God doesn’t like it when you kill babies
  • Babies – Over population is somehow bigotry, get an abortion
  • Frosted Flakes – white people cereal that implies white superiority
  • Wal Mart – enables rednecks to survive, ban it!
  • Trucks – only rednecks drive trucks
  • Rednecks – Self-explanatory, Ban them
  • Cheetos – they look like Donald Trump, ban them
  • Snow – Offensive to Africans and Latinxs
  • Milk Duds – racist
  • Oreos – very racist
  • Punk Rockers – they have mohawks; cultural appropriation of natives
  • Belts – body shaming devices
  • Scales – super offensive body shaming device
  • Disney Movies – Walt Disney was a Nazi
  • Emma Watson – Is a quasi-feminist Nazi sympathizer aka a Nazi
  • Scallops – bourgeois white people food, ban it
  • False Teeth – offensive to people with no teeth who can’t afford them
  • Jackets – culturally appropriating the homeless veterans
  • Veterans – baby killing jingoists
  • The American Flag – extremely racist
  • Coloring Books – offensive to poor kids with no crayons
  • Dildos – anti-feminist devices propagating male dominance
  • Chinese Food in USA – Chinese people have no idea what it is
  • Toilets – offensive to hillbillies who must poo in the woods
  • Zippers – possibly the most racist thing ever invented
  • CD Players – ancient devices used to spread sexism and racism with rap and rock
  • Meat – the Earth made vegetables for you to eat, not animals
  • Vegetables – expensive rich white people food
  • Books – Anti-Jewish propaganda
  • News – Israeli propaganda
  • Make up – anti-feminist tool of oppression (offensive to Muslims too)
  • Burkas – patriarchal oppression
  • Zelda – because everyone thinks Zelda is Link, and it’s sexist
  • Violins – a musical instrument invented by racists that only whites enjoy
  • Halloween – Cultural appropriation
  • Al Bundy – Fictional, misogynistic character right wingers love
  • Tampons – invented by men to make women ashamed of their periods
  • Free Speech – amendment designed for flag burning Nazis
  • Jokes – are never funny, ban them!

social-justice-warrior-t-shirt

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