Ban List – A List of the Most Offensive Things Ever


The world is just far too fragile to be able to live in peace when people have so much freedom, so obviously everything must be banned.

Here is a list of the things that should go first and the reasons why.

  • Guns – they are bad and only bad people have them, ban them now!
  • Alcohol – is bad, and it only leads to more dangerous drugs like marijuana
  • Weed – is bad and only leads to more dangerous things like alcohol
  • White people – white people procreating is a criminal act, ban it
  • Christianity – it threatens the only peaceful religion ever; Islam
  • Islam – It’s patriarchal and oppressive to women and homosexuals
  • Europeans – because they are oppressive to Muslims
  • Straight Men – because they are homophobic
  • Cis Gendered Men – because they are transphobic
  • Toy Guns – Because they are actually real guns too
  • Video Games – they are sexist and only 35 year old white guys play them
  • Marilyn Manson – Offensive to Christians
  • Socks – They are offensive to indigenous people who don’t have them
  • Shoes – only rich white people wear shoes, ban them
  • Casinos – a breeding ground for rich white capitalism
  • Capitalism – because free markets breed rich white people who oppress
  • Christmas – promotes commercialism and gluttony
  • Thin People – they body shame over-weight people just by existing
  • Sports Cars – only rich white people drive sports cars
  • Rock Music – Stolen from Africans and turned into white devil music
  • Rap Music – promotes gun use, rape culture and sexism
  • Condoms – protects rapists from being identifiable
  • Abortions – God doesn’t like it when you kill babies
  • Babies – Over population is somehow bigotry, get an abortion
  • Frosted Flakes – white people cereal that implies white superiority
  • Wal Mart – enables rednecks to survive, ban it!
  • Trucks – only rednecks drive trucks
  • Rednecks – Self-explanatory, Ban them
  • Cheetos – they look like Donald Trump, ban them
  • Snow – Offensive to Africans and Latinxs
  • Milk Duds – racist
  • Oreos – very racist
  • Punk Rockers – they have mohawks; cultural appropriation of natives
  • Belts – body shaming devices
  • Scales – super offensive body shaming device
  • Disney Movies – Walt Disney was a Nazi
  • Emma Watson – Is a quasi-feminist Nazi sympathizer aka a Nazi
  • Scallops – bourgeois white people food, ban it
  • False Teeth – offensive to people with no teeth who can’t afford them
  • Jackets – culturally appropriating the homeless veterans
  • Veterans – baby killing jingoists
  • The American Flag – extremely racist
  • Coloring Books – offensive to poor kids with no crayons
  • Dildos – anti-feminist devices propagating male dominance
  • Chinese Food in USA – Chinese people have no idea what it is
  • Toilets – offensive to hillbillies who must poo in the woods
  • Zippers – possibly the most racist thing ever invented
  • CD Players – ancient devices used to spread sexism and racism with rap and rock
  • Meat – the Earth made vegetables for you to eat, not animals
  • Vegetables – expensive rich white people food
  • Books – Anti-Jewish propaganda
  • News – Israeli propaganda
  • Make up – anti-feminist tool of oppression (offensive to Muslims too)
  • Burkas – patriarchal oppression
  • Zelda – because everyone thinks Zelda is Link, and it’s sexist
  • Violins – a musical instrument invented by racists that only whites enjoy
  • Halloween – Cultural appropriation
  • Al Bundy – Fictional, misogynistic character right wingers love
  • Tampons – invented by men to make women ashamed of their periods
  • Free Speech – amendment designed for flag burning Nazis
  • Jokes – are never funny, ban them!


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